Cole Haan Outlet by Hendie Dijkman

I did what I do every time that I try on clothes after an extended period without trying on any clothes: assume that I am much fatter than I actually am. I went into the Dress Barn plus size and picked up clothing in random sizes. Since I usually sew, or refashion clothing, I have next to no idea what size I am in ready to wear. The stuff in my closet is in four different sizes at least. So who knows?

Nothing I tried on fit, at all, even a little. Saved from my own presumptions again. I did not become inspired to try on smaller clothing. I was bored with it and left.

Then I went to get what had brought me out in the first place: underwear. I know some people sew their own underwear. I have seen many a pattern for converting old tee shirts into panties. But I have no desire to do so. I could always change my mind. Because previously I had no desire to sew purses, leather or any other specialty fabric. But whatever, today I went to the Jockey outlet and got underwear, with very little effort on my part.

I also went to Hanes, Coach, Clarks and Cole Haan. Coach baffles me. I have yet to understand the hype. I have a wallet that I purchased from Coach. It has held up well. But mainly I go in there and try to figure out why people are crazy about it. The Cole Haan store has really incredible leather, and high heels with Nike Air soles. This attracts me. Logos on fabric that cost five times what it would cost me to make the same bag from very similar materials is beyond my comprehension.

I thought I would buy an article of clothing – something not underwear today – and need to use a get out of refashionista jail free card. But the unintended consequence of participating in something like Wardrobe Refashion, for me anyway, is that now I really only like clothes that fit me exactly. And that is absolutely not going to happen unless I sew it myself.

Today was also a very typical family day. I woke up to my child bouncing into the bed announcing it time to wake up at 7:00 AM.

I told DH I needed to get out of the house and while putting on makeup DD entered the bathroom and asked for a bath. I told her I’m leaving, ask Daddy. The two of them came back and he said, “Oh, I forgot it takes you an hour to leave.”

Ten minutes. It took me ten minutes to put on makeup and sandals and leave. Ugh.

Then we went to the amazingly slow Burger King in Dawsonville to get DD fries for the drive. I would have liked for her to eat something more substantial. But whatever, the kid eats a lot of fruit and vegetables. Fries for lunch today won’t kill her.

Then we began the 50 mile drive to Buckhead. Boring. I suggested to DD that she might want to sleep. Usually, she says she doesn’t want to sleep, then does so about three miles from arrival anywhere that we go. Today she stayed awake the entire drive to discuss motorcycles, ugly trucks and cars. The uglier the truck the more she likes it. She has a special love for very dirty, pollutant coughing, gardening trucks.

Grandma has perked up considerably since the little Greek man has begun his pursuit. When I told her that we are taking vacation the first week of August, she said “Your husband is crazy! August is the hottest month of the year!”

Yep, she’s feeling better.

DD said about five words while we were there. I think they were bonjour, au revoir, merci, oui and non. That is what she does. She doesn’t speak to people. Then after they leave she tells you all about them. I told Grandma not to be fooled; DD understands every word. Grandma said she knows and to prove it asked DD to do a bunch of little things, to which DD silently and correctly complied, carrying the book over to me and putting it in the bag, etc. We were not five feet out of Grandmas door when a stream of French and English came out of her mouth telling me all about how much she loves to visit.