Do ordinary households have conversations such as these?

Him:  Hi.  How are you?

Me:  Good.  Relatively, unproductive.  No, not really, spent all day trying to stay out of jail.  Not jail actually, but you know, the bureaucratic bullshit that haunts grown-ups who made asses of themselves in their twenties so we would not be asses now.  But now, oh shit, is there a warrant for my arrest in New Jersey!?

You?

Him:  Err, still sick.  Tired.

I’m going to change my clothes now.

Poor guy.  He can’t even blame marrying me on his youth.

DD got an extra stamp for being the best following-instructions ballerina.  She’s delighted.

SS’s girlfriend re-appeared.

I have strong feelings of I relate to that, when watching Californication.  Not the fabulous body, getting laid all the time, and making tons of money part of course.  The somehow I manage to leave a trail of destruction behind to bite me in the ass later part.

In all fairness, I have not really gotten into much trouble for the past ten years. It’s the trouble before that, things like forgotten out of state traffic tickets that crop up and ruin my well mannered days.  And really, it’s not like I did something violent.

The stupid human tricks I usually do are things like dealing with an expired drivers license, and suspension, and trying to plan a trip and buying airfare, and getting a new phone all in the same week. And adding a bunch of plugins to the blog; and agreeing to write two more articles in two different languages. Like any one of those things all by itself would not have my task list struggling for air.

And now, Friday, and have tons of stuff to do.  And DH will be golfing on Sunday.  Ugh.

I was going to declare it a victory, or at least a draw if I could manage to pick up DD on time and cook dinner.  I got her on time, but have ten pounds of half thawed chicken in the sink.  If I had done what I intended and separated it into one pound batches and frozen it separately I would not have this mess.  Such was the start of my week, setting it in the freezer and forgetting.

I didn’t get the mail out in time and am now greeted by legal notices for my grandmothers estate.  More things in there for me to do, I’m sure.

I declare it the weekend and everything ignorable except the article I owe Tryhandmade.  Anyway, I’ve already done the research and like writing that piece.  It’s the optimist in me. I fantasize about saving an eczema sufferer from certain outbreak doom or maybe a tree.

Krysten and the Tree by Amy Loves Yah

Where can I get one of these? by ice.bluess

I would probably have been in and out in thirty minutes, except, oh wait come back, I’ll need that license.  Thanks.  It’s suspended.

What?

Apparently, some miscommunication occurred between the now City of Milton, formerly City of Alpharetta, about the massive fine I paid them.  The DDS, formerly DMV has record of the violation, not the payment.  Therefore, I’ve been driving around on a suspended license.

So, I call directory assistance, get the wrong number, call back and finally get the City of Milton.  (Which means I now have to call Verizon to get my bill corrected.  Ugh.)  They say, oh yes, you paid it.  They were quite put out that I wanted them to fax that information to the DDS, as they have it in their records that it had already been reported.

That would be great, except I was standing in the DDS unable to renew my license.  The woman grudgingly agreed to fax the receipt over.

Meanwhile, proof of my payment and reinstated license – apparently, three days between payment being made and entering the computer – was found at DDS, but not where it was supposed to be.  And another thirty minutes and I’m out the door with a new, hideous drivers license photo good for ten years.

I think I provided the morning DDS entertainment.  Because some bumbling housewife with a suspended license is different than a teenager failing their behind the wheel driving exams.

Note to self:  keep all receipts of paid fines for future reference, and bring them with you if you ever go to DDS.

Come home and see note from SIL to effect that bench warrants are standard for unpaid fines and extradition is based on mileage – so, extradition from Georgia for a traffic violation would be ridiculous, extradition from New York would be, well, easy cheap and close.  Right.  After morning DDS experience, I should probably clear that up.

Search online, have no idea where I got ticket, and am not entirely sure what year.  All of the counties keep their records separate.  Call SIL.  Call DMV type agency in New Jersey, who informs me that they would have issued the warrant to Georgia, who would have in turn notified me.

Okay, so good.  But… ticket will still be on the books somewhere in New Jersey and anything related to it, just not at the DMV.  The lady telling me had that bored bureaucrat voice, like she wondered what kind of dumbass would be calling her a decade after a ticket to inquire about it.

Trust me lady, I’ll stay out New Jersey if at all possible.

Oh, and State of New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission is what it’s called.  And it is voice mail Hell.

I didn’t have this much trouble getting a passport.

Related posts:

• Expired Drivers License
• Stupid Human Tricks