Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, I read because I was interested in the motivation behind Asian parenting. The author, Amy Chua, refers to her parenting style as Chinese. But to me, the parenting style is more inclusive.
As it turns out, the book is famous, and controversial. And somehow I missed hearing about it. I just stumbled on it in the e-library.
Our family had Chinese and Korean American friends growing up. I knew that we would only ever see them at functions that included the whole family, once per week or less often. I knew that for them, piano lessons were mandatory. And so were Chinese language lessons. (I don’t remember if my Korean American friends had language school.) I thought Chua’s book might tell me why, what thinking made piano better than sports.
Chua argues that the most important thing that she can do for her children is to help them to succeed, driving them, nagging them, and chastising them if necessary. She goes to great lengths to take her daughters to the best instructors, and ensure that they practice, study and obey. While not offended by her practices like some readers and friends (that she mentions in her epilogue) I’m far less extreme.
As a non Chinese mother, I have no interest in arguing with my children for hours about school, Chinese lessons or anything else. It’s not because I think it’s ok for them to be lazy failures. I just have a more moderate (Western) approach. I think they need to do well in school, and make certain homework gets done. I think children need positive extracurricular activity. I just don’t think that it has to be painful or needs to exclude playdates.
Though I do not subscribe to extreme parenting, I found the theories fascinating. Definitely an interesting read.
