Bras Babies and Boobs
Did that get your attention?
I have successfully weaned my one year old daughter. By successfully, I mean she eats plenty of solid food, and drinks milk made by plants: almond, soy, coconut. This keeps her nourished but doesn’t stop her from groping me constantly. It is summer, so I generally wear tank tops and v-neck t-shirts to try to stay cool.
Don't be fooled. Clothing tape is no match for this baby.
Flash tape, clothing tape, or whatever you want to call it is no match for a groping baby. I thought I’d tape my bra and top together to keep the bra from showing. I thought if the shirt didn’t shift so much, she might grab something else, besides me. Nope. She made a puzzled face, tugged, looked into the blouse and pulled off the double sided tape. Then she threw it with disdain on the floor and stuck her hand between my breasts.
I suppose I could wear a crew neck t-shirt. But it is just too warm for that. I would rather show bra in public than melt. But as a public service, I felt it my duty to find a bra that would show less, or at least provide some form of camouflage.
I wore my most offending shirt bra combination, and took myself and baby to the Hanes and Bali store. The sales people there are actually helpful. But one of them approached and laughed when she saw baby. She said she thought I was one of those customers who is pushing around a doll. But no, I have an actual baby, with doll-like features. I told her not to be disappointed, there is someone pushing around a dog in a stroller who could stop by.
I explained to her my quest to find a lower cut bra that might save the sight of unsuspecting other persons. She looked at my chest and frowned, a concerned, understanding frown, and asked, “What size do you need?”
I tell her. She looks at another sales person who also frowns. The first sales person says, “Hmm, I don’t know if we have a bra that will be that low in front, in that size.”
But she is helpful and directs me to several that might be acceptable, showing me the difference in the height of the bra front from size to size. This endeavor did not look promising. I persisted, and took nine of them into the fitting room.
Baby played happily with the rejects, until I struggled with a clasp. Then she crawled under the door of the fitting room, forcing me to run out into the fitting room lobby area in a trying-on bra, all itchy, with paper tags, to capture her.
I finally decided that none of the bras would not show, and picked three that fit well, in the same colors as shirts I own. Probably not so stealth. But I feel better about it. And eventually, cooler weather will arrive.
I lamely wandered over to the Barely There section of the store, and discovered that indeed, there wasn’t a single bra over there that would fit. And here I just thought I didn’t shop that side of the store anymore because I don’t dress like a teenager. wtf? That is so weird, like suddenly discovering that I am kind of Chinese looking. How is it that I never noticed?
I tried to tell my shopping drama to DH. Because women are weird like that and want to tell you stuff you don’t care about, just for bonding. But baby and DD6 continued to insert themselves into the conversation, until I gave up.
The bras are pretty cute. This in spite of the fact that I really can’t believe I need this kind of artillery.
[...] carry her dog. She was a little disappointed to discover human legs peeking out. That woman at the bra store would have really liked to talk about the neuroses of the dog carrying lady. Categorized under: [...]