White Guy
Photo by Pullao
I called my cousin to wish him happy birthday. In the background I hear my uncle. “Is that Christina?”
Cousin: Yeah Dad.
Uncle: Is she married to a white guy?
Cousin: Yeah Dad.
Uncle: An American?
Cousin: Yeah Dad, a houle. She’s married to a houle.
Uncle: How come I don’t know this?
Cousin: Because you don’t usually listen to my phone conversations.
Uncle: How many kids does she have?
Cousin: Dozens.
Uncle (shocked): Christina?
Cousin: No Dad. One, she has one child.
roflmao. My uncle is 90 years old. He’s my dad’s brother-in-law. He’s from Guam. Last time I called he couldn’t remember who I was right away.
My cousin and I are the same age. He is so much younger than his sisters that they were in college when he was born. His oldest sister and my mom were the same age. I’m sure he’s going to have a really good time with all of them this evening telling them nonsense about me (because they won’t remember the truth), before finally clearing it up at the end of the evening.
He is really enjoying the family senility.
Oh, and translation, houle is a somewhat derogatory term for a white, American, state-sider (not Hawaii). For years my aunt was so embarrassed that he married a houle that she told everybody that he married a French girl, which was true as a technicality.
Pronounced: howl-y.
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