Could this be my penance?
My newly single friend and I keep having the same conversation over, and over. It goes something like this:
Friend: I can’t believe he didn’t call me.
Me: It’s called a one night stand because it’s only supposed to last one night.
Friend: But it wasn’t like that. It was supposed to be more than one night.
Me: Apparently, it was like that.
Friend: You are so mean to me.
Me: I am the only person who tells you the truth.
Friend: Do you think he’ll call me today?
Me: No.
Friend: I don’t want to have a relationship with him. I just want him to call me a few times a week.
Me: That is called a relationship, when two people interact, regularly.
Friend: If I leave him another message will I look stupid?
Me: Dear Lord! It’s like you’re 15. You’re losing credibility by the minute. Oh, I know, text him again!
Friend: Why do I talk to you?
Me: Penance. It’s my penance for all the stupid ass things I did when I was 21. I’m suffering listening to you so I won’t go to Hell. God wants me to help you.
Friend: (rolls eyes) Frog, shut up.
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Him texting you is like me sending postcards to my mother. It’s so he doesn’t have to speak to you live.