Choices: Funding Retirement and College?
I understand this authors point completely, and think about my small retirement fund several times per year. I try not to think of it each time I receive a pay statement. The stress would be too much.
There are so many things to fund, and all of them impact the nuclear family. How will we pay for retirement? How much financial help can we offer the kids with college? Can we take them on international vacations? How many extracurricular activities make them well rounded, or just tired?
At this point in life, I am glad that we own one of our vehicles. And DD will start public school next year. In the meantime, her preschool tuition will increase dramatically because my company has ended their agreement with the preschool, cutting benefits to many families, including us.
Blah, blah, and here I am on Sunday morning fretting about it all.
By ensuring that Amy and I have an adequate nest egg for our retirement, we’re also making sure that our kids will never be in the position of having to help us financially. I can’t imagine a more important gift to our kids than making sure we are never a financial burden on them.
I’m certain my kids will one day see that we made the right choice. It will mean they won’t feel torn — or guilty — choosing between their own family’s financial needs and Mom and Dad’s utility bill. It means they won’t face potential conflicts with a spouse frustrated that family dollars have to fund an in-law’s life. As readers of this column know, this is a position I fear I will be in one day with my own mother.
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I’ve spent a bit of time thinking about this, which annoys me a bit at 24. My mother, and with her comes my stepfather, expects me to support her later because she helped me with college. DH’s parents told him up front that he would be responsbile for himself after high school. Both ways suck, but I feel a good bit of resentment building knowing I’m expected to take care of everything later because I accepted help earlier. There was a severe communications break down somewhere, and I have no idea what I’ll do differently.
I think there can be some form of balance. It is unfortunate that the financial plan for your life and commitment to your mother was not discussed with you prior to the decision being made. Certainly, your mother could be saving *now*.
It is not my plan to throw DD from the financial nest at age 18. But at the same time, I consider my retirement fund a higher priority, because I do not wish to be dependent on her in old age. It is not a comfortable situation for anyone.