Frog In North Georgia

At 2:30 AM, DD peed on me. I asked her where are her dodo pants (“dodo” is slang French for dormir, to sleep) which is what we call pullups. She said, “It was an accident.”

I said, I know it was an accident; you were sleeping. Where are your dodo pants. She repeated, “It was an accident.”

I took off her nasty clothes and mine. She went back to sleep on the floor while I changed the sheets.

At 4:00 AM, Miss E, Grandma’s best friend called and said Grandma is in the ER at Piedmont. She fell in the bathtub. But I was not to go down there until morning. Or she, E, would go. Or we could both go. She apologized for delivering bad news at an unholy hour; but said she knows Grandma is not informing me appropriately: the radiologist told her that without treatment, she might have three months to live, last month. And did I know that the bone cancer is terminal?

I consider this important news to share with family members. Such family members like next of kin or executor of will perhaps might like to have this information to actually be of assistance to the ill person.

I thanked Miss E for her candor.

Then I went back to bed and cried. DH got me up and sat with me in the living room. He told me not to fight with Grandma today, as that only makes her more stubborn.

I slept fitfully, and in the morning called a coworker and asked her to call crazy narcissistic boss and tell her why I’ll be at the hospital instead of work today. I just could not bear to cry in front of crazy narcissistic boss.

DD wanted to stay home with SS, which turned out well.

At Piedmont I saw Grandma without her makeup for the first time. She immediately told me that she is an independent woman. The nurses and doctor told me that she had informed them too.  Then Grandma asked if I had brought her makeup.

The doctor said Grandma is amazing and has only a small laceration, which bled profusely. Then there is the other stuff…

Right, because we aren’t going to say matasticized cancer or diabetes here in the Emergency room, even though it is printed right in these care instructions you just handed me. If you don’t say it out loud I might be able to overlook it for a few minutes.

We know this doctor, as we are frequent flyers here at Piedmont.

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